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Chapter Eight - Just being close made all the difference.


In September 2020 I was fortunate enough to go to Wales for a 7 day trail running adventure. It was a joy to finally get back to Wales after it being locked down most of the year and having to cancel previous plans.


I was in Wales for not one but two back to back trail running breaks, but I had two afternoons inbetween were I could take myself back off into the mountains for a bit of mental recuperation.


I had always planned on going up Snowdon at some point in my time between events, and one particular day was a clear day. I was a bit tired after that mornings trail run with the guests from the first of two events, but I decided to go for it as it was clear on the mountain tops, and I needed a clear view for personal reasons.


Those that know me well will know that when my Mum passed away in 2017 we spread her ashes as requested in a particular spot on the hillside overlooking Llyn Padarn and of course Snowdon...


Every year in June Dad and I would go to Wales for a week to stay in the holiday farmhouse Mum and Dad used to stay in at Dinas Farm. We would always make a point of visiting 'Mums spot' and paying our respects, as that was why we were there.


When there for the week I usually do a personal and difficult charity challenge in the area to raise much needed funds for the local Llanberis Mountain Rescue Team. My last visit was 2019 and I did 7 ascents of Snowdon in 7 days taking in a different route each day.


Sadly during 2020 with the lockdown we were unable to go back in June, so when the Focused Performance trail running events came up it was an ideal opportunity for me to at least be in Snowdonia and I jumped at the chance.


To be honest I found the inability to get to Wales with my Dad really difficult mentally as it is something I really look forward to and being up the mountains of Snowdon and her surrounding mountains is a vital escape for me. It's a time I feel a oneness with my Mum while I'm up the mountains and just being in the area brings many happy family memories flooding back from our time there as a family. I also cherish the time with my Dad in a place I know he loved going to with my Mum.

This was the reason I needed a clear day and views from the top of Snowdon. I couldn't get to my Mums spot as it was too far away on foot, and with the covid situation I didn't want to be on any local buses etc, but I could get up Snowdon whilst thinking about her and being with her in spirit at least, and I could actually see the spot on the hillside near Llanberis where we spread her ashes from the top of Snowdon.



Geoff the event organizer kindly dropped me off at the bottom of the Watkins path and I set off up the mountainside and tried my best to achieve what would hopefully be a fastish pace for me as the complete Watkins path was the only route I didn't take in last year (apart from Crib Goch) as I diverted up over to the South ridge last time.


I can't tell you how good it feels to step out off a car at the beginning of a days walk with all your kit on and the freedom to roam as you please, in a time that you please up a great route and mountain.

Within a few minutes of walking and jogging and snapping pictures , my phone crashed and just sat on the welcome screen. I wasn't impressed and pondered the disappointment of not being able to take memories of the route and indeed the day ahead.


I couldn't take the battery out to reset it as it was an internal battery. A little further on and severely disappointed I stopped and chanced trying to discover which button press combination would enable a reset. After multiple goes and a bit of swearing I finally hit the right combination and photo's recommenced prior to the waterfalls.


I managed to jog a few of the early bits prior to and alongside the waterfall sections, but my legs were suffering a little from that mornings activities and indeed the week so far. I continued on with little 50 metre or so efforts and then walked again and repeated when not too steep.


The waterfalls and scenery was nice and clear and I had a good warm day for my walk/climb ahead. Once across the little bridge beyond the waterfalls and over the main stream I was now in new territory as I had turned left and gone towards the South ridge from here last time in 2019.


The path levelled a bit and I jogged a little more in small sections and it was now getting pretty warm with the jogging too. I was thoroughly enjoying testing myself physically and now mentally, as I refused to just walk as I had challenged myself to get up there as quick as I physically could in line with the ascents I did in 2019 on the other routes I had done as quickly as I could.


After passing the remains of the old buildings and stopping briefly to look back at the views to Yr Aran, I now started the more serious ascent of the Watkins zig zags, it soon became apparent that doing this half way through a trail running holiday, with two runs a day including one this morning was not a good idea and sure as hell wasn't going to be easy.


I did get a few funny looks as I attempted to slowly jog bits, but I realised that my energy levels would not sustain this effort level without serious lactic acid build up and muscle failure. That is a technical way of saying I'm not fit enough to do it!


As I continued up the zig zags I chose to fast hike as quick as I could and after a ropey 10-15 minutes I started to feel normality in my legs and knew from there that was my best pace and course of action.


I could sustain a decent effort and then stop and take pictures as I went, a formula I have already liked as the combination doesn't lose you too much time overall.


At one point I considered going across to Lliwedd to get some pictures then back down to continue the Watkins across and up to the summit of Snowdon. But I knew my energy levels that day would probably not sustain it with the South Ridge descent I had planned afterward.


Next up was the final stretch of Watkins and the infamous shale path. I knew they had been working at putting stone steps in from the top last year, but had no idea how far they had got. It didn't look like they had progressed any further to be fair than June the previous year, but it's a slow progress with weather an all, and likely they haven't been working on it this year with the covid-19 situation etc.


Last time I went up this section on my Lliwedd ascent on my 7 in 7 challenge I had managed I think 25 mins to get up that section, as I was knackered and it included photo stops a many. This time I was chuffed to have made it up in 15 minutes with a few less photo's.


At the top of Watkins it was now across and up to the actual Snowdon summit and to be honest I was knackered at this point, yet determined not to be passed by anyone going up.


I finally made the top in 1hr 33mins of actual moving time and not too many un recorded breathers to be fair, and I was really happy with this.


Now was the time I had been waiting for, the view down to Llanberis, Llyn Padarn and the spot my Mums ashes where spread. I could see the area from the summit and was thankful for the clear view.


It was a vital time for a mental reset. Just being up there allows me to put my past behind me and to erase my troubles which are mostly mental ones. I can't stress enough how invigorating it is being up there with the feeling of being on top of the world for a change.


Just the feeling of self worth and self belief after suceeding in getting up there is something I would recommend to anyone with any issues including and especially mental health ones.


We condemn ourselves to misery so many times by doubting our worth and our abilities in our day to day lives. Achieving a goal or being up on a mountain positively reinforces our self belief that we are indeed capable of great things and when we are sat on top of our mountain looking at the world below our feet it is a great feeling....


I spent the next half an hour max taking photo's from around the summit, had a snack bar and uploaded a few pictures to social media.


I sat and quietly thought about my Mum and how much I wish she had made it up to the summit with me in real life, as she loved Snowdon and it's surroundings so much yet I'm not sure she ever got to the summit as my Brother and I were always with her and we weren't old enough or keen enough to want to take that challenge on.


I was truly thankful for my time in Wales that year with a great bunch of runners from the Focused Performance events and indeed the team from Focused Performance who looked after us all week, especially Geoff the owner of the company who was good enough to give me a lift there and back. Without him I would have never had my time with my Mum that year, and I will be forever thankful.


While I was up there I noticed a seagull nearby looking over the surrounding landscape. I've always had a fixation and love for seagulls while on holidays and as a kid always took pictures of them while on holidays in Wales and Devon. My Mum knew this and often commented if she had seen a seagull on her travels, and that I would have loved to have seen it.


I like to think at that moment in time my Mum was there with the seagull and with me in spirit as we both enjoyed the splendor around us of our beloved Snowdonia!






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